I have serious issues with gender imbalance. If I even suspect that a man holds some antiquated notion about women and sex, I don't want to be with him. And I refuse to change my behavior in order to get a man to take me seriously. I just don't see why I should have to. I know relationships are about compromise and all, but sex is extremely important to me. Maybe it's because I was a late bloomer, maybe it's because I've been obsessed with sex since I could read, but for whatever reason, sex is a major factor for me with whomever I get involved with. I can't do prudes. Tried it and I failed. I like to get all of that shit out in the open at first, which probably scares men. I mean, one of the things I thought I liked about New Jersey was that he seemed so refreshed by how open I was sexually. However, in the end, it appears that he was either lying or it was too much for him. Sigh.
Maybe I'm just insecure. I've always known that I was intelligent and going places. I've never for a second doubted that my life would be blessed in those respects. I went to a good school, I have a good job, and my brains have rarely failed me. What I'm more insecure about is my body, my capacity to be viewed as a sexual being. So maybe I over-emphasize that too much. For me it's not a matter of how much you respect me, but how much you want to fuck me. Maybe it's time to switch it up a bit.