As far as moving to New York City goes... I don't know if I can talk about that just yet. There's so much that's swirling in my head and I know that I'm too tired right now to give it justice.
So then there's my health. Ugh, my INR is still not stable. It dipped to 1.2, down from 2.3, which is disappointing. I'm not sure what it is - that I skipped some of the doses (yeah, I know... but it's hard to remember to take a pill every day), that I've started eating green veggies (the doctor said it's okay and that we'll work around it), or that I've started drinking again (he hasn't mentioned liquor to me, but I should probably mention it to him). I need to try really hard to get my shit together. Luckily, I'm determined to do better in April. I've decided to pretty much tattoo the word pill onto my palm so that I see it at all times. I've also resigned myself to spending the next month eating the same fucking meals at the same fucking time every goddamn day. Lame, I know, but really the best thing for this kind of illness. Drinking - I know I cannot put a cap on my drinking for too long, so instead I'm thinking moderation and a set drinking schedule with little to no variation. Sweet. Here's to progress.
Lastly, I just want to say that lately I've been feeling really bitter. I feel like people I know haven't been taking my illness seriously and not realizing that what I went through was life-threatening and scary. If you're reading this, I can guarantee you that you're not one of the people I'm thinking of. So you don't even have to ask =) Anyway... yeah. I felt like I came back to CA and there was just no acknowledgement of the fact that I had a near-death experience that scared the shit out of me. I know that I'm not the most emotionally open person on earth, but I reserve my emotions because I don't want to alarm anyone. But when I got home from the hospital, I cried myself to sleep at least 3 or 4 times a week, desperately worried that I was going to die. And sometimes that still happens to me. I just wish that people would be more accepting and caring about that and know that when I'm too tired to do something, it's because my body is still not 100%. I don't know why I'm going on about this here, it's obviously not going to change anything because none of the relevant parties read this. But I guess it's just good to get it out there, ya know?
So yeah, that's what's been on my mind lately.