I've been torn lately about my own sexuality and my comfort with it. How comfortable is too comfortable? I feel like I'm pretty open to most kinds of sexuality and I like talking about sex and thinking about it and I've definitely gotten over my squeamishness about honest sexual discussion. I like sex. I like porn. I read Fleshbot (really NSFW) on a daily basis and I frequent websites that would probably make my mother blush with shame. I'm comfortable with that now, but I've still held back when discussing my own sex life and I wonder if I'm ready to break through that wall in order to have a frank discussion about the realities of having sex.
I don't consider myself a "sex blogger" but I've always wanted to blog more about sex, relationships, and sexuality in general. I opened up an anonymous blog once in which I talked about my sex life in insane detail and it was truly refreshing. There were only about two people who read it (although one of them was a really prominent and well-known sex blogger, which made me so nervous), but it felt good to write something and know that no one knew it was me and I could be open and write an entry without immediately deleting it for fear of what other people would think. It got to be too much, though, so I shut it down. I admire the sex bloggers I read, especially the handful of them who post their shit with their real names attached to it. I don't know if I'm that brave. And yet, I feel strangely constrained by the fact that I know who reads this blog and I know they know me from college or work or high school. That kind of openness and honesty might be too much for me. But yet, I have things I want to write about - things I wonder about quite frequently, but don't have the courage to write about.
So I may be starting another little venture. I'll keep this blog for certain and I encourage you all to continue reading it. This thing is my baby and I can't imagine giving it up, but I'm thinking I may move some of my more personal and private sexual writing over to a new space. Maybe you'll stumble upon it one day.