too many men.

When it rains, it pours. I love that expression because it so adequately describes my situation when it comes to boys. I'm either desperately seeking male attention or running from it at full steam. Recently I've had a lot of boy drama and I really, really like it. As most of you know, I really enjoy long, drawn-out dramatic situations (see: my whole relationship with TG). There's something about drama that I really enjoy. I don't like drama with my friends because I think that's silly and counterproductive, but I love the whole high-low thing with boys. I think I just love to be excited and I love to be depressed. So much good comes out of both of those states for me. When I'm happy with a boy, I get all excited and giddy and life feels amazing. When I'm depressed or worried, I get all angsty and I get to write it out and feel like I'm truly experiencing life. I mean, pain is a part of life, too.

Anyhow. Sex-in-the-car guy is completely over with. He's been texting me, but I've ignored it and I'm hoping he just goes away. I'm sure he'll get the hint. I probably should be more mature and tell him I don't want to see him again, but I should also probably stop drinking and swearing and I have no intention of doing that either.

Then there's TG. He's in New York City for the week. Instead of having this whole tug of war thing (he's been dropping hints about seeing me for the past two days), I just invited him over to my job for lunch. I think it's the easiest way to make sure this doesn't turn into some big debacle. He'll be here on Wednesday afternoon. I figure it'll just be two friends catching up. I'm finally starting to actually believe myself when I say I'm over him. It feels less like an empty statement and more like a truth.

There's also been a flurry of discussion behind my back about whether or not I hooked up with a friend of a friend on NYE. I didn't (obvs, I would've blogged it if I had), but it was just weird because I'm so not used to that kind of interaction. On one hand, I like the fact that people noticed that we were flirtatious, but on the other hand I hate feeling like people are talking about my business. I don't think anything will come of it (I'm unsure of his/my interest level, we're both awkward, AND it's probably a bad idea), but I figure I ought to document it anyway. Sigh. I hate when you meet someone you're interested in, but you feel like you can't even gauge their interest without it being an issue.

So, with MM I've been hella nervous. I texted him last night and he didn't respond back, so I freaked. Maybe I'd texted too soon, maybe I was being too pushy. ACK. I just wanted to thank him for the nice night. Anyway, he responded today saying "my pleasure" and then we talked about my weird mattress pad (don't ask - yes, he made fun of my mattress pad, lol). So I guess we're still good. I don't know. I just want him to ask me out again, already, dammit! 

That's that! I'll keep you posted on any updates.