i can't believe how much of a slacker i've been.

I have been doing really poorly about keeping up with my internet presence. I'm tweeting less, leaving e-mails unanswered, not checking in to foursquare or updating this thing. This is probably the first birthday where I didn't offer any kind of reflection about my life (my birthday was yesterday). I guess I just needed a break. Work is heating up, but I'm also very conflicted about my job and my life right now and what I want to be doing with myself. I wish we lived in an age where I had the financial freedom to go off and take risks and do something crazy. We don't, though, so I can't. Instead I can dream of a potential future happiness that I believe will eventually come.

I went to New Hampshire this past weekend and it was beautiful. Fall was in full swing out there - the leaves were changing and there was a crisp chill in the air. I didn't really do anything. I slept for 16 hours the first night (5pm - 9am - holy shit!) and then the next day I took a drive out to Dartmouth, a campus I've always loved. I bummed around, hanging out in the bookstore, on the green, and eating at a local bar. Sometimes it's really nice to just spend time with yourself. I live in one of the biggest cities in the world - there are always people around, there's never a quiet moment. I got to really sit with myself and do nothing. I drove a ton, read lots of books, and ruminated on my life. I got rid of three issues that had been zapping my energy and stressing me out - namely my birthday, my hair, and my performance reviews for work. It was nice to have time to think and breathe and to prove to myself that I don't need to be surrounded by other people to feel content.

Yesterday was my 24th birthday. It was truly a nice day - I got up at a decent time, put on a sexy new outfit, and headed to work. The work girls bought cupcakes and we had a little chat session in my room - they even had a card! Lots of calls and Facebook messages and texts from friends and family members. I had a last-minute little dinner with my old cubemates, my roomie, Slind, and a friend from high school. It was low-key and exactly what I wanted. Cute wine bar/pizza place/Venezuelan restaurant. Delicious. Good food, good company, good times! I'm starting to feel older, but it hasn't really sunk in yet. I felt old while I was at Dartmouth, listening to college kids talk about parties and hookups and classes. I miss my youth sometimes, but I like to think that the best is yet to come.