Is it unethical not to tell your boyfriend about your blog?
I've been thinking about this lately because my boyfriend doesn't know about this here corner of the internet. I may have mentioned that I blog when we first started dating, but it's never been anything I've emphasized and he never asked about it, so I never elaborated. I guess it all boils down to the fact that I like sharing my life on the internet. I don't really think anything is TMI - well, there are a few things, but in general I tell ya'll everything. I mean, I wrote in detail about a one night stand where I kicked a guy in the face! I don't shy away from sharing it all because I wish someone would've told me what the real world is like, what real relationships between men and women were like. This way, I can share some of my experiences with people and hopefully find some common ground. If not, then I guess I can give you guys something to laugh/shake your head at =)
Of course, this means that I share details about my feelings and my experiences as they're being formed - thought processes that I'm not sure I want my boyfriend (or any man I'm dating) to see. This blog has helped me explore my relationships and my sexuality and I view it as a necessary outlet for my personal growth. However, I get that a man might want to know what I'm talking about here and what I say about him. I try to think about it in the reverse - if a guy I was seeing had a similar blog and didn't want to tell me about it, how would I feel? To be honest, I don't think I'd really care much. I would view it as a diary - everyone's entitled to one of those, right? However, as Freshman Year Best Friend brought up when we went out for dinner yesterday, a diary is totally private, whereas a blog is public and out there. How can I restrict someone that means something to me from something that everyone in the world has access to see? I have to say he has a point.
I mean, I want a relationship based on trust and openness, but I don't necessarily feel the need to know every single thought that my significant other has. That being said, I think I'd like it if eventually I dated someone that I felt comfortable sharing this with - someone who would know about it, but would be secure enough in us and in our relationship not to use it to pry into my thoughts and to be comfortable being written about. But I know that not all men are like that. I like to think my current boyfriend is the type who doesn't need to know everything about me in order to trust me. He knows that I don't cheat and that I'm faithful. He knows I need my 'me' time and that I can't be available all of the time. I respect him for that because it makes me more enthused to be with him - having a man who gives you your space makes you want to be with him that much more.
There really is no conclusion to this for me - I think blogging is always a slippery slope, especially when you have a blog that's as personal as mine is. I pour everything into this and it's hard to think about letting someone see that side of me so quickly. So I think for now, I'm going to keep it to myself, until I get more of a sense of where this relationship is headed and how much he can handle having an exhibitionist girlfriend who's TMI-ing it all over the internet. But I still have to wonder if I think it's fair to hold this back. Thoughts?