single again, part i.

Told ya. I knew TOJ was going to break up with me - I'm just psychic like that. I can't explain why, but he was just different when I was away and I could tell. I think when you're intimate with someone and you know them and you know their patterns (especially when they are as much of a consistent Virgo as you are), you just can tell when something is up. I'll give the basic rundown - he wasn't as communicative as normal. He avoided answering if he was going to stay over. Even his reaction to the racy pics I sent him was pretty mild and referenced the past, not the future. That was how I knew it was over.

We made plans for drinks after work. He left earlier than usual and picked me up. When I got in the car, he was on the phone with someone for work. He still kissed me and told me I looked beautiful and I got hopeful that maybe I was wrong. We get to the bar and he buys us two Dark and Stormies. We go upstairs and sit and he holds my hand and asks me how my week was. We talk and everything is fine. He goes down to get us more drinks and I think maybe everything is going to be okay. Then he comes up and launches into it. He says that we've been dating for a while and we're at the point where we'd need to decide if it's serious. Basically, he likes me - he thinks I'm amazing, beautiful, intelligent, sexy, fun to be around, and the chemistry and sex is mind-blowing. But.

There is always a but. He just feels like something isn't clicking. He's not sure if it's my age - I'm 7 years younger than him and sometimes I make him feel like an old man. He says he felt really old hanging out with my friends. And that I don't "feel comfortable" going to the kinds of bars he likes. And that I don't like the kinds of music he likes and that's a big deal for him. He just didn't know what was wrong, but he can feel me getting closer. He says he can hear it in my voice and he wanted to spare me any pain that might happen down the road, even if he could see being with me for the next 6 months. He said it was really hard for him to tell me this because he was getting really excited about me and telling his friends about how proud he was to be with me and how great I was. He told me he thought about just trying to make me hate him, but that I deserve better than that and he wanted to tell me in person and to my face, not online. I respected him for that. I didn't really have a reaction because I just didn't know what to say. I was trying so hard not to cry and I just couldn't think, so I barely said anything. So that's that. We left the bar and he tried to kiss me - I tried to pull back and give him just a peck, but he was like "come on, CJ" and so we kissed and then he left.

Part II to follow...