therapy is seriously amazing.

I've been looking forward to this therapy session all week. I always discover things about myself when I'm in a session, even when I think I've already processed my emotions. Of course, this was the big breakup discussion and I'm happy to report that I feel even better coming out of it than I did going in. We talked a lot about what I learned from this relationship, as well as what I gained and how I felt. I do this thing a lot, where I care more about what the men think of me than of what I think of them. Being able to sit in therapy and go through all the doubts I had about the relationship felt really good. There were definitely red flags and I hate when you're so happy that you're blinded by them. Going through it all with my therapist helped me realize that maybe he wasn't the best partner and I should be happy that I learned that now before we got in too deep.

I also realized I have a lot of anger about the reasons he gave me for the breakup. He made me question my maturity and my lifestyle, which did not make me happy. Yes, I go out and I drink and I have friends who go out and drink and we get drunk and have a good time. Yes, I love making 'that's what she said' jokes and other inappropriate innuendos. Yes, I eat meals twice a day at work and never really cook for myself. I am messy and sporadic and I'm not Suzie Homemaker. It's just not a part of my life plan right now. I travel all the fucking time and I'm 26 years old. Despite all that, I like to think I'm pretty mature. I work a stand-up job for an amazing company, where I make enough money to live on my own in a full-sized one bedroom apartment in San Francisco. I pay my bills on time and I haven't taken money from my parents in 4 years (in fact, I've leant them money). I'm pretty fucking independent. So fuck you! ARG. Anyway...

I am wondering if he will contact me. I have dated a lot of boys and only one (POP) broke up with me and then never spoke to me again. Everyone else seems to pop up. I'm hoping that given the nature of our breakup and his age and supposed maturity, he will leave well enough alone, but I'm not sure. I guess I just have to decide how to respond, if he should reach out. Just hoping I don't have to go there.