For the first time in about five years, I am officially out of the dating/dealing with men/dating men/sleeping with men scene and I feel amazing. Not expending energy on finding a man, keeping a man, or fucking a man feels really damn good. For the past five years, I've turned into this woman that I don't recognize - hunting around for dates, dealing with male drama, and getting emotional over people who aren't worth my time. I'm officially over it and there's something liberating about it.
You might not know it from reading this blog, but I used to not give two shits about men. Pretty much up until I turned 21, I was kind of scared of them. I mean, I thought some were hot for sure and had my own little fantasies, but I basically ignored them. Men tried to date me, I laughed and smiled and kindly moved it along. Then, somehow, after a while I started to feel this pull to trying to lose my virginity. I crossed that off my list and then it was all about hooking up. From there was the downward spiral of dating, where I just wanted to be with someone so badly that I ran around SF and NYC (mostly SF, though) like a chicken with its head cut off trying to find The One. It's exhausting and ultimately not really worth it for me. So I'm throwing in the towel. I'm The One - I, Cleopatra Jones, am insanely in love with myself and I don't care about men. I'm declaring this shop closed for business for the foreseeable future. The thought of even attempting to date someone makes my skin crawl. Sadly, I don't even really feel like screwing anyone. I'm always going to have a little bit of a boy-crazy streak, so I look at boys and assess them and I'm sure if one tried to mack it to me, I might let him, but I'm kind of over it. No more online dating, no more stressing over dick. CJ 3.0 - FOREVER ALONE. I'm kind of okay with it.
In the words of my best friend on earth (stolen from the Notorious B.I.G.) - "fuck bitches, get money." I think I'm going to chase dollar bills for a little while. Screw dating.