I feel so freaking restless right now about everything! In sad news, no nookie for me this week from FBI. Blame conflicting schedules. There was a chance it could've happened tonight, since he'll be "out and about" and wants to "link up," but I'm doing the Long Island thing tonight so no dice!
<<< spoiler alert if you haven't seen last week's Mad Men >>>
ANYWAY. Restlessness. I don't know - I just want change and I feel like I'm on the cusp of something major in my life. I don't know what it is - work, life, relationship, whatever - but I just feel the winds of change blowing (lol... yes, I realize I sound like an idiot) and I'm excited. I haven't been able to sleep much. I've been thinking too much about my job and what else I can do to be happy. I watched Mad Men earlier in the week and the moment where Peggy Olson leaves SCDP just spoke to me. I'm not saying I want to leave my company (I love them and I don't want to leave), but I know I need some kind of change. Another role or another company. Thankfully, the one thing I do know for sure is that I love San Francisco. Being here in NY for the past week has taught me that. I really have absolutely no desire to spend any particular length of time in NYC. I mean, it's nice to come back for a little while, but I couldn't live here again. I just know I couldn't.
So, here I am stuck. Thinking about my options and weighing the pros and cons. I don't know if I'm strong enough to just leave and start anew. Sometimes I hate myself for being such a late bloomer. I wish I could just know what I want to do and do it and not worry about anything anymore. I envy all those people who are doing what they said they would do when they were 10, while some of us flounder and struggle. Maybe one day I'll know what I want to be when I grow up (assuming I ever grow up, which seems unlikely at this moment in time).
Oh, well.
2 comments:
As someone who didn't expect to take the career path I have taken, my only advice to you is not to worry too much about figuring out what you want or feel you were meant to do with your life. It will come to you, and you'll know when you've found some job or career that will challenge you and make you blissfully happy. I can't say how long that will take, but there was somewhat of a pattern that lead me to teaching, and perhaps your life experiences will lead you to your ideal life as well. For now, just enjoy the journey though. :) And I also totally cried about Peggy. Love her.
@Kate - yeah, i'm hoping if i just keep moving towards my various interests, something will pop! it's just hard not having a plan.
omg, the peggy thing was so sad! when don kissed her hand, i was on the floor!
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