tales from the job hunt.

Job hunting really is a beast. I don't know why I thought it would be easy or quick, because this is clearly going to be a process. Right now, I'm basically applying to any and all things in a desperate attempt to change the course of my career. Of course, an overwhelming sense of doubt is starting to creep into my thoughts. Am I going about the search the right way? Am I leaving for the right reasons? Should I be more strategic in how I approach this? I'm not really sure how to answer those questions.

I struggle with what's really important to me from a career perspective. I'm frustrated by the fact that I've only been promoted once in my 5 years at the company, and I think that's starting to get to me more than I thought it would. I know had I stayed in my old role, I would've gotten a promotion by now and with it, more money and a better title. I thought those things didn't matter to me, but when I look at the uphill battle it's going to be to get promoted on my current team, I just know I don't have it in me to wait any longer.

I keep talking about being strategic and thinking about what a good next step in my career is and yet, I'm not sure applying all willy-nilly to jobs is the best way to achieve that (yes, I said willy-nilly). This is the fundamental argument I have with myself about almost every issue - is it better to painstakingly plot out a course or should you drift along and be open to more opportunities. I'm not really sure. Drifting has gotten me some pretty awesome things - a really cool job at an amazing company, meaningful life experience. I just worry that I'll wake up one day and be 40 and have no idea how I got to where I am. That's all well and good if I end up happy, but I don't know what the correlation is between aimlessness and happiness.

In the meantime, while I grapple with these issues, I guess I just have to hope that things will turn out as they are meant to be. Out of the four roles I'm interested in, one is off the table, so now I have the other three to focus my energy on.