I don't even want to write this entry because I hate TOJ and think he's a horrible human being who I couldn't care less about, but I suppose you all want to be updated. So we went out on Wednesday and it was date-ish and confusing as fuck. He picked me up in his car and gave me the grand tour of Oakland. Took me to a nice Korean BBQ place, where he did the whole Southern gentleman thing - pulling out my chair, ordering for me, and cooking all of my food and serving it to me. Then he paid for it so fast I could barely offer any money. He opened the car door for me when we left and then told me he was going to take me to a dive bar with a beautiful view of the water and San Francisco.
We caught up on each other's lives. He seemed to be in a better place - he said he's calmed down more, not doing the whole Mission rat thing. He doesn't go out every night and has mellowed. Rides his motorcycle to work, stopped drinking as much, and isn't really eating red meat anymore. He says he feels calmer and in a much better place, although work is still stressing him out. He bought me a drink and we walked along the water, looking at all of the different views. Again, more car door opening and more pulling out of chairs. Finally, we left the place and he dropped me back at the BART station to catch the train. He gave me a fairly chaste peck on the lips and a hug. Then it was done.
It was fun to see him again and we got along the way we always get along, so I suppose that was good. It was just strange because it felt like a date. He also didn't make any moves on me, which I was mildly insulted by. I mean, I looked HOT. I had a tight red skirt on and my ass looked BANGING. So I was a little upset. I mean, I went all the way to Oakland and he couldn't even feel me up in the car? UGH.
So after that I got confused, because he then invited me to come over and watch a movie and have him cook for me at some point in the future. I just didn't know what the hell was going on and he never explained his behavior or why he asked me to go out in the first place. Since he's leaving for Turkey in a couple of days, I sent a text message to him about it. Basically, I wanted to know why he wanted to spend time together again given that we are broken up. That's when shit hit the fan.
He was basically like "Girls think too much. I don't want to get serious. It was just nice hanging out and would be fun to do so on occasion." So I eased into it and brought up the fact that that usually implies sex, which he said was "so New York" of me. He said it wasn't out of the question, but that it didn't motivate him to contact me. So that's when I just let it all out. I told him I felt blindsided by the invite since I'd worked pretty hard to get over him and that he disrupted my life. I told him it was unfair of him to resurface without any kind of warning since he was the one with the upper hand. He then wrote some bullshit about understanding where I was coming from and then putting it in my hands if we'd hang out or not. He said he would be open to discussing it in person if I wanted. I told him I had a life and didn't need to see him again. I told him he hurt me and that it was so hard to go out with him and that I just don't see how two people who weren't friends to begin with could be friends now. He then apologies and said he didn't hit on me because he was behaving himself and avoiding stress and drama. End scene.
I don't even know what to say. It's 12:30am and I'm tired, so I'll write more tomorrow, but that was the basic gist of what went down.