i'm trying to be an adult.

I am deathly afraid of driving. I don't know why, but I get this terrible feeling in the pit of my stomach when I know I have to get in a car and go somewhere. I especially hate driving with other people in the car. I've never been in an accident or even close to being in an accident, and yet, getting behind the wheel terrifies me. It took me three tries to get my license when I turned 16 (gotta love how fucking up parallel parking will automatically fail you!) and ever since I've gotten it, I will do anything to get out of driving. In high school, I always got rides from friends and even to this day, I still prefer to be a passenger and not a driver. I've decided that 2013 is the year that I'm changing all of that.

I think what really sealed it for me was the trip to Yosemite, which played out like an episode of Ice Road Truckers. It was a damn long drive, the weather was terrible and the roads were winding like nobody's business.  I just felt so useless. My two friends ended up splitting the driving duty and for the snowy parts, my one friend was the sole driver. I hated feeling completely helpless, sitting in the backseat like a putz. I want to learn how to drive in all different kinds of weather, but I guess first off I should focus on just driving in normal, regular San Francisco conditions. The other thing that's pushing me to get more comfortable is that I've finally decided to buy a car! It is about time. You can live in SF without one, but let me tell you - life is so much better when you have one. I won't have to lug groceries around in my little cart and I'll be way more likely to go to some restaurant in the Outer Sunset if I know I don't have to get on public transportation to do it. I imagine I'll still be taking the bus a fair amount (I don't plan on driving to work at all and let's be real - I drink too much to drive anywhere at night), but it will be nice to have the option of not always taking public transportation.

To get started, I finally signed up for a Zipcar membership and I've set a goal to drive at least once a week to do errands and then taking one long car ride a month. I probably won't buy a car until the second half of the year, so this is my solution in the meantime. I am a grown ass woman with my license - there is no reason for me to avoid driving like this, especially since my job occasionally requires me to rent a car. I'm ready to finally conquer this fear! I don't think I'm going to love driving or anything, but all I really want is to be proficient enough to do it when I need to without being scared of it.